For an instant
I am of two.
An eerie enclosure
Of which time stands still.
Idle if only for a while.
Within the slip of a beat,
An unseen face,
Washover feeling of dread...
And within a glance
Merely a fleating sense
I've risked it all. And slipped.
I've slipped from reality.
Falling so deep...
Never far from this entrapment.
And yet,
The beating of a heart stands idle and constant.
The slamming,
The cracking,
The tearing of warm flesh.
A piece of me stands idle and constant.
And within that same beat
Muscles clenched,
Head spinning within a skull,
I've risen and forgotten.
Eyes set alight with humor
And passion.
For that was only a thought.
An idea burried under my skin.
Repressed
Restrained
Restricted.
Bound and controlled
Within the darkest chasms of one's being.
Held together by tortured flesh
And damaged minds.
Merely a thought.
Or so it would seem.

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I have an obsession for dead flowers.

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Man, I wasnt kidding. There ARE wolves here. I hear them at night and its the creepiest thing. O.e

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I used to want to block out the world. Clouding it with my anger-fused cacophany of music, I stiffened my ear drums with the most clamorous sounds. And for the moment, I was lost in it. I was lost in the numbing pain that encased me. Now I want to hear what it has to say. I listen for this gift of life it has to offer, and I search for the nature that will heal me. And if not heal me, then open my eyes just a little wider and show me a time where all things are worth their lot. I wait and listen for her words of guidance. And with each rustle of the trees, the cry of a single gist of wind, the creaking of water as it races through, the howling of wolves so out of place... For god's sake, the roaring traffic of the city! I hear her and cant help but hide the crinkle of a smile. Ive found her.

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Am I melodramatic? Well, of course I am. But, really. Does my ever growing pain and endless whiney fits of torture just lull others to sleep? Im not being taken seriously. I know I am. I shouldnt have to prove myself. Im not. Not really... Am I?

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So, I realized that names could be traced straight to my blog... Whoops.

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Hmm... I didnt pass the 1st semester Advanced Topics exam, which is composed of Agebra II and Trigonometry, basically a side credit for turd brains like me who cant pass Algebra. Which also means I failed Algebra twice. Which also implys my inability to graduate... Which also makes me feel like shit... Which foreshadows my second attempt at suicide through embarrassment and frustration... My god. Does my unhappiness just flourish in waves... cycles? I am doomed -___-

But im not seriously going to throw my self on the line... I'm just thinking...

Fml.

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Venus de Milo

Aha my sketchbook assignment :D

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