I'm so lost. I dont know this person I have become and it all but breaks me to see this future slowly take form. I'm not ready. I'm not strong enough! I never was.
Every breath feels like wasted life being held before me. All I am is wasted life so why am I here...
I'm here for everyone else's benefit. They consider me selfish for wanting eternal peace. They glamore me with these ideas of content and self-importance, respect and hope. Hope...
Is it not they who have wronged? The stale cruelty of their ignorance and self-fullfillment still lingers on in the fringes of my mind. Is it not they who are selfish? They keep me from what I need! This agony...
No. No, because it is I who must think for them. It is I who must prevent their pain. It is I who must stand idle, in the manor they wish of me, for their own enjoyment.
I am no voice. I cannot be taken seriously. They call me "ill". They call me "disturbed". They imply with their wandering eyes and they make use of their voices because mine does not count.
I am in pain.
Perhaps it was that part of which they missed.

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